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Writer's pictureCommish

Coming Up Short

There's been a lot of chatter around the league regarding the good luck Hit Em With The Hein!!! has had with their schedule. On the season, no other team had allowed fewer points than Hein!!! who had given up only 605 for an average of 86.4 per game.


Only once has a team scored more than 100 points against them. They have only faced one team this season that finished in the top half of the league in scoring for the week and that was in week 5 when Chief Sticky Balls finished as the 6th highest scoring team. Moreover, they've been fortunate enough to matchup against the 2nd lowest scoring team in the league 4 out of 8 weeks.

The New Brian Jardine is always there with words of wisdom to help lift a fallen comrade.

With luck like that on your side, it's easy to understand why they were undefeated heading into this week. Sure, they're not the worst scoring team in the league, but when you're facing competition that continually finishes in the lower half of scoring for the week, it doesn't take much to win.


In week 8, Hein!!!'s opponent, Who Is You, finished with the 4th highest score across the league. A favorable matchup, if you ask me. The problem is that Hein!!! finished with the 2nd lowest score in the league this week, leading them to their first loss and elimination from the Survivor Challenge.


In hindsight, Hein!!!'s loss to You shouldn't have been a big surprise to anyone. In 4 games where they've hosted Who Is You, Hein!!! has never won. Add another one to the list and they're now 0-5 all-time at home against You.


Another team that came up short this week: Pork Chop Express. Not because they didn't win their game - they did - but because they fell a field goal shy of a perfect Pigskin Pick'Em ticket this week and an extra $110. They lost their Chicago Bears pick in the early games, but it's no less disappointing to think that if Eddy Piñeiro hits that game-winning kick, they would've finished perfect. Oh, and did I mention that Chops favorite team is the Chicago Bears? That's a double-whammy. Laces out!

Eddy Piñeiro's missed field goal cost the Pork Chop Express $110. That's a pretty expensive kicker.

But, the Chops weren't the only team that had a good week in the Pick'Em contest. The worst ticket in the league this week still finished with 11 correct picks. That's outstanding, though it doesn't do much to separate the contestants in the standings.


If it's Tuesday, then the Patriots defense is coming off another stellar week. This unit is now sitting at 255 points for the season (31.9 pts/game) which puts them 29 points ahead of Deshaun Watson. Yes, that Deshaun Watson!


For the sake of comparison, most would consider Team RamRod's $34 paid for Watson was a good deal. Heck, that's only $0.15 per point. However, at $3, New England's defense is producing at a Groupon-worthy rate of only $0.01 per point. They're on a record-setting pace this season.

With Brieda struggling, Coleman seized the opportunity and finished with 4 TD's on his way to a 41-point day.

While we're on the topic of Chief Sticky Balls, it should be noted they've won their past 2 games and now find themselves in a concours de trois for 2nd place in the Sagebrush division. In addition to the aforementioned Patriots D/ST, Coleman exploded with 41 points leading the Balls to a big win. It will be interesting to see how things shake out between Sticky Balls, Blue Ribbon, Flash Dem TD's for what looks like to be two playoff spots, assuming Hein!!! doesn't blow it.


Over the remaining 5 weeks Balls, Ribbon, and TD's do not play each other. However, the tie-breaker could involve Team RamRod. Blue Ribbon and Sticky Balls each play RamRod one more time this season. And don't forget, RamRod is lurking right behind them in the standings. Keep your eye on this race, folks. It could get interesting.


There appears to be more parity on the other side of the league, in the Cactus division. After 8 weeks of play, there is only a 3-game separation between the first and last place teams. It looks like Pork Chop Express and Who Is You are headed in the right direction, but beyond that, it is anyone's guess.


NH Bounty Hunters are probably the biggest mystery. One week they score 130 points, the next week they only put up 60. If they can get it together, I think they can pull it out. But if they continue to put up sub-70-point weeks, as they have the past two, they'll be in trouble.


Maybe we can look to league history to clear up some of the confusion. Back in week 6, you'll remember I mentioned there has only ever been one team that lost their week 8 matchup and went on to win the Championship game. If that trend holds, we can count out Flash Dem TD's, NH Bounty Hunters, Blue Ribbon, and yes, Hit Em With The Hein!!!. So congrats to Pork Chop Express, Who Is You, and Chief Sticky Balls! One of you will win it all.


All that's left to do is play it out.


Four points away from a perfect week. Regardless, this was my best week yet, 5-1. I think you guys are beginning to get the hang of this.

It was close, thanks to Los Perros Locos unexpected big day, but I was still able to put together a team that beat all of you.


Good luck in week 9!

-- Commish


PS - Now that we're down to 4 teams remaining in the Survivor Challenge, immunity has been removed and the lowest score is eliminated. Good luck!


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