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Writer's pictureCommish

Feast Or Famine

If you're a numbers guy, you'll appreciate that two-thirds of the margin-of-victory data points from the week 11 matchups fall two standard deviations, or more, outside of the mean. In a population size of only six, that's a tremendously large range. If you were to graph the distribution, it would look like an inverted bell curve with your data points clustered near each end of the axis.


For those of you that don't buy into all that statistical sorcery, and assuming you lost, that means that if your team didn't lose by less than five points, then you were likely blown out by 40 or more.


Simply put, you were either enjoying the ample returns of your players last week, or you were left starving.


But it wasn't just the team scores that were disproportional. Individual player scores were all over the place too. Looking over the results from this past week it seemed, for the most part, that your players scored either 30 or 3 points.


Don't believe me? Look at some of the big names and league-leaders from this week with their week 11 score in parenthesis.


FEAST: Aaron Rodgers (42), Austin Ekeler (35), Jonathan Taylor (55), Cam Newton (30), Justin Jefferson (32), Patriots D/ST (40), and Davante Adams (27)


FAMINE: Patrick Mahomes (6), DK Metcalf (3), CeeDee Lamb (1), Dak Prescott (3), Ezekiel Elliott (7), A.J. Brown (5), and Bills D/ST (-7).


The two players that stood out most were, of course, Austin Ekeler and Jonathan Taylor. Nine! Nine touchdowns between these two. Incredible. Hopefully, for their owners, there are still plenty of scores left in the season.

A big day from Jonathan Taylor (55 pts) gave Chief Sticky Balls a big victory and a guaranteed spot in the playoffs.

And, because I know you're wondering, the answer is no, Jonathan Taylor did not make the list of Top 10 Individual Performances. With an incredible 55-point outing, he came up just 3 points short.


But let's be honest, you didn't get this far into my post just to hear a recap about last week's games. No. You came here because you want to know if you're going to make the playoffs or not. So, without further delay, here's how things are shaping up.


The Golden Tate Warriors and Chief Sticky Balls have already secured their invitations to this year's big dance. All that is left to work out is which one will be the #1 seed and earn a 1st round bye in the Sagebrush division.

The return of Saquon Barkley could be enough to push Jergoff Passout into the postseason.

To secure their playoff spot, Jergoff Passout will need to win against the NH Bounty Hunters this week and see Christian McMingle lose to Baby Got Dak.


For Christian McMingle to make the playoffs, they would need a number of things to go their way. First, they'll need to win their final three games. Secondly, they'll need to defeat Passout in their week 13 matchup and hope that Passout loses, at least, one of their other two remaining games against NH Bounty Hunters and Golden Tate Warriors.


If you're Badazz Bri or Do Not Panic, you're playing the role of spoiler.


Over in the Cactus division, the Thundabuddies and Pork Chop Express have punched their tickets to the playoffs. And, with both teams tied for 1st place, their week 13 meeting looks like it will determine who gets to relax in the 1st round and who has to risk early elimination.


Tied for 3rd place in the Cactus division are Who Is You and Baby Got Dak, two teams that are can't afford to lose. For both, winning this week is crucial, though not required. The most important game, for either, is their matchup in week 13.

With Mahomes continuing to struggle, Who Is You will lean on Ekeler and others to lead them to a playoff berth.

At the bottom of the division, the NH Bounty Hunters and Los Perros Locos are both on the outside looking in. And they're in desperation mode too.


For the Bounty Hunters to make the playoffs, they'll need to win their three remaining games and they'll need both Who Is You and Baby Got Dak to lose two of their three remaining games. If that happens, it would come down to the Points For tie-breaker where the Hunters hold a 14-point advantage over You and a 165-point advantage over Dak.


The Los Perros Locos have exactly one route to the postseason. Not only do the dogs need to win all three of their remaining games, but they also need Who Is You to lose all three of their remaining games, including that week 13 game against Dak. But, wait, there's more! They must also outscore Dak by a total of 49 points over the rest of the season.


So, there you have it. If I miscalculated anyone's path to the postseason, don't worry. It'll all be rewritten next week when one of you knuckleheads throws another wrench into the works.


Finally, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you for playing this season. Although you're all terrible at fantasy football, as evidenced by the Defeat The Commish results, I genuinely appreciate and enjoy your participation in this league.


I hope each of you find yourselves surrounded by family and friends enjoying a bountiful feast this Thanksgiving. And, may you never feel famished.


DEFEAT THE COMMISH

I have still only received three submissions on the Defeat the Commish Survey feedback form. When you have a minute, please complete the form. Once I receive feedback from all league members, I'll share the responses and we can start to plan for the future of this contest.


SURVIVOR CHALLENGE

Not only did Pork Chop Express gain a leg up in the standings by defeating Who Is You this weekend, they also captured a 1-0 lead in the best-of-three final series for the Survivor Championship. We'll have to see if they can outscore You in week 12 to win the contest or if You can push this contest to a winner-take-all finale in week 13.


PIGSKIN PICK'EM

This contest is shaping up to be a four-way race to the finish line. Chritian McMingle holds a 2-game lead over Who Is You and Badazz Bri with Pork Chop Express sitting 3-games out. Beyond that, we have Jergoff Passout trailing by six games and while that's a lot to overcome, there's still plenty of time if they're able to string together a few solid weeks.


COMMISH'S PICKS

This season hasn't been my best with regard to the Commish's Picks, so a 3-3 week 11 will have to do. With three weeks left in the regular season, I'm sitting 10 games under .500...better get to work!


Good luck in week 12!

-- Commish


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