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Writer's pictureCommish

Feel The Pain

If you were looking forward to fireworks and excitement from the playoff race in the Sagebrush Division, you were likely disappointed. Rather than photo finishes and story-lines filled with nail-biting action, we were left with nothing more than the dull thud of postseason dreams coming to an end without a whimper. Instead of a boom, we heard a splat.

Throughout the regular season, the Myrtle Beach Mermen remained a half-step or so out of the top 2 spots in the Sagebrush Division. But entering the final week of regular season play, they were still alive and looking to finally get over that hump.


That is, until Akes and Pain showed up.


To have any chance at the postseason, the Mermen needed Akes and Pain to lose their game against the top team in the league, the Tallahassee Tator Tots. Akes and Pain wasn't having it.


To say Akes and Pain was dominant in their crushing defeat of the Tallahassee Tator Tots seems like an understatement. It bordered on criminal.


Not only did the Akes hitters tally 248 runs this week, but their pitchers were on fire too, scoring 171 as a group. To put those numbers into context, 248 from their hitters is their highest total of the season, outpacing their average of 147.9 by more than 100! And 171 from their pitching staff was almost 20% better than their average of 143 runs per game.


Over in the other dugout, it's clear the Tots had no idea what hit them. In their worst performance of the season, their hitters struggled to get anything going with a total of only 130 runs...37 fewer than their average of 166.7 runs per game. And that wasn't even the worst part.


This season, the Tots pitching staff has consistently been one of the better rotations in the league, averaging 146.4 points per game. But this week was another story with starters Logan Webb, Michael Lorenzen, Chris Bassitt and J.P. France combining for -18...yes, that's a negative 18, as in less than 0. Even their normally reliable RPs, Pressly and Doval, finished with -5.

It's a good thing there were 30,000 witnesses in the stands because Dusty was not happy with J.P.

After all was said and done, Tyler Glasnow's 29 points was the only thing that kept them out of the red with their entire pitching staff netting only 16 points for the week.


Fortunately for the Tots, that horrible performance didn't change a thing. They're still in the playoffs and they'll take another crack at Akes and Pain this week when they meet up for the...


Sagebrush Divisional Championship Game

Akes and Pain -vs- Tallahassee Tator Tots

Last week's drubbing was the first time the Tator Tots have fallen to Akes and Pain in 3 games this season. To avoid a repeat, they'll need to play like they did in their first two meetings where they averaged 323.0 runs/game. But that's easier said than done.

Akes and Pain are hoping Ozuna can deliver a repeat of the 53 runs he put on the Tots last week.

There are a number of the reasons for Akes success this season. Not only have their hitters been able to pile on the runs, but their defense has been outstanding too. Sure, the Tots put 300+ on the board twice in 3 tries against Akes this year...but that's the exception, not the rule.


Not counting the Tots, only 2 other opponents have scored 300+ against Akes; the Springfield Isotopes and the Myrtle Beach Mermen. And you can ask any team in the Sagebrush Division: if you're going to beat Akes and Pain, you better be ready to score, score, and score some more because they average 307.3 runs per game against divisional rivals.


Without a doubt, this should be a stellar matchup between a pair of top-tier teams. But if I can see one advantage, it's the fact that the Tator Tots are playing host and we all know they're a tough team to beat in The Air Fryer.


At home this season, the Tots are averaging 312.9 runs/gm - more than any other team in the league. And vice versa, on the road, Akes and Pain average 288.3 runs/gm - the lowest of all their splits. Those stats alone suggest this could be a tough battle for Akes.


Look for Akes and Pain to get out in front early with some favorable player matchups through the first few innings. But if they take their foot off the pedal - even for an inning - and allow the Tots to get cooking, they could potentially find themselves playing for 3rd place in the next round of the playoffs.


Commish's Pick: Tallahassee Tator Tots


Cactus Divisional Championship Game

Los Perros Locos -vs- You're Killing Me Smalls

Since somewhere around week 4 of the season, these two have had the Cactus Division locked down. No one in that division really gave them a run for their money, but now it's time to turn off the cruise control and get serious.


You're Killing Me Smalls took 2 of 3 from the Perros this season including one of the closest and highest scoring games of the year, a 345-342 victory back in week 12. And if you look at Smalls's game history, it appears that game was the catalyst that took them a good team to one of the best.


Before that week 12 contest, Smalls was averaging 258.5 runs/gm and had not yet scored more than 300 in a game. But after, and including, that matchup, Smalls saw their average score balloon to 304.2 runs/gm while scoring over 300 runs in 6 of 9 weeks. They were literally a different team.

Smalls is hopeful Marte's hot bat can deliver another 48 runs like he did against the Perros in week 12.

Oddly enough, you could make the case that week 12 was a turning point for the Perros too...but it was in the wrong direction.


Through 11 weeks, the Perros averaging 301.5 run/gm and had won 8 of 11 weeks. But from week 12 through week 20, the dogs saw their average score fall to 274.3 runs/gm and they only won 4 of 9 games.


With both teams headed in opposite directions since that contest, I wouldn't blame you a bit if you chose to put your money on Smalls. They're a very good team and, truthfully, I could see them making it to the next round.


However, when I look over both pitching staffs, I don't see either possessing a clear and distinct advantage. They appear fairly even to me...which leaves their hitters to consider. And that's where I see the Los Perros Locos holding a slight advantage. If they're able to get their bats going, look out.


Commish's Pick: Los Perros Locos


Consolation Bracket Games

Ha, right! You didn't seriously think I was going to spend the time analyzing those too, did you? I will, however, tell you that the Damn Yankees are going to surprise some folks.


Good luck in the postseason.

-- Commish


 

POWER RANKINGS

Not only did they lose their #1 ranking after their worst performance of the season, the Tots fell 3 places to #4. Replacing them is their division rival, Akes and Pain.


 

ALL-STAR LINEUP CHALLENGE

With a ridiculously talented lineup of players from the American League, Akes and Pain wins this year's All-Star Challenge by a country mile. Second place - and no prize money - goes to Los Perros Locos who finished 311 points behind our winner.


 

BATTING CHAMPION & CY YOUNG CHALLENGES

Finishing in the top 10 in all 5 hitting categories and a total of 83 points, Akes and Pain's Shohei Ohtani wins the 2023 Batting Champion award. Several others, including Mookie Betts (80 pts) and Matt Olson (74 pts), have put together outstanding performances this year leaving them just shy of the top spot.


Congratulations to Team Prepas's Zac Gallen on winning the 2023 Cy Young award with 82 points. Gallen finished the regular season with rankings of 8 or better across the 5 pitching categories. Our runner-up, Gerrit Cole, finished just 2 points behind Gallen with a total of 80.




 


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