Despite my repeated requests to the NFL to pause their season until I returned from a Christmas break road trip, they continued to play. As you can imagine, this put me in quite a bind because our Championship Game between MaxxCasualties and Who Is You began on Christmas Day while I was traversing the open road with Mrs Commish and my Commissioners-In-Training. Though some players have already submitted their scores in our title game, I'll still offer my take.
Ah, the Sagebrush Cactus League Championship Game. A battle between MaxxCasualties and Who Is You, two teams clawing and scratching their way to immortality—or, at the very least, some league-wide bragging rights until next season. With the game already underway, let’s dissect the carnage we’ve seen so far and the potential disasters—or miracles—still to come.
What We’ve Seen So Far: Hits, Misses, and ‘Mehs’
For MaxxCasualties, Patrick Mahomes came out guns blazing against the Steelers with 32 points—12 more than his modest projection of 20. Mahomes did his part, delivering a highlight reel performance, and yet, MC finds themselves trailing. Is this a sign of greatness surrounded by mediocrity? Perhaps.
Meanwhile, Zay Flowers turned in a laughable 3 points against the Texans, falling far short of his 11-point projection. Flowers might as well have been a cactus in this desert showdown—present, but ultimately useless. And poor Dalton Schultz, thrust into the lineup like an intern asked to handle the quarterly earnings report—his 2-point performance feels both inevitable and tragic.
Over on the Who Is You side, Kyler Murray chipped in 19 points against the Rams, just shy of his 21-point projection. A decent showing, but nothing earth-shattering. Rhamondre Stevenson, on the other hand, decided that the championship game was a perfect time to disappear entirely, scoring a big, fat zero against the Chargers. Nice work, Rhamondre—you’ve really set the tone for your teammates.
But WIY’s Brian Thomas Jr. and DeVonta Smith have yet to play, leaving some hope that their WR corps might salvage this performance.
What’s Still to Come: The Unknown Variables
For the Casualties, there’s still plenty of hope resting on the shoulders of James Cook, who will face the Jets. Cook’s 14-point projection seems reasonable, but if he doesn’t hit the mark, they might be, well… cooked. Ameer Abdullah is also in the lineup, but let’s be honest—Abdullah is a wild card in the same way a $2 scratcher ticket is: you know the odds, and they’re not good.
You, on the other hand, has a slightly stronger outlook. Jahmyr Gibbs against the 49ers is an intriguing matchup—his 23-point projection might be a tad optimistic, but Gibbs has shown flashes of brilliance this season. If he can deliver a monster game, Who Is You’s chances look much better. And then there’s Aaron Jones, who faces the Giants. Jones’ 12-point projection feels achievable, but with his injury history, You fans might want to keep an ambulance on standby.
Why MaxxCasualties Will Win
Mahomes has already delivered a superstar performance, and James Cook could easily add to the total against a struggling Jets defense.
Who Is You’s reliance on Gibbs feels shaky at best—San Francisco isn’t exactly a friendly opponent for opposing RBs.
Let’s face it: You’s 0 from Stevenson and so-so showing from Murray might be too much to overcome.
Why Who Is You Will Win
Gibbs and Jones have the potential to combine for a monster day, erasing the Casualties’ early lead.
McBride's 23-point performance could be the wildcard that mitigated at any advantage the Casualties hoped to hold.
With MaxxCasualties relying on low-ceiling players like Abdullah and Guerendo, You might not need all their stars to shine—just a few solid performances.
The Final Question
Will MaxxCasulties’ early fireworks be enough to hold off a Who Is You rally? Or will Gibbs, Jones, and McBride write their names in Sagebrush history? One thing is certain: this game isn’t over until the final cactus falls.
Good luck to both!
Commish
GOLDEN TICKET CHALLENGE
The tables have turned in the final weeks of this contest with Reek Squad jumping into the lead on the heels of a huge outing from Jonathan Taylor. Hampered by a slew of injured and/or sitting players, it's hard for me to imagine the Golden Tate Warriors or Baby Got Dak mustering the points needed in week 17 to challenge the Squad.
PIGSKIN PICK'EM CONTEST
Heading into the final week of the contest, the Tator Tots hold a 3-game lead. Can they muster enough correct picks in week 17 to hold off the competition?
SCL Pro Bowl
As soon as they're done with the Championship Game, MaxxCasualties and Who Is You will get right back to work assembling their Pro Bowl teams for week 18. The rules are simple: choose at least 1 player from each team in their conference and assemble a starting roster to represent their league mates for a chance to win a prize for each team in their conference.
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