Every time one of my little Commissioners-In-Training leaves the house, Mrs Commish and I always say the same thing: "Make good choices." Any of you with Owners-In-Training get it. Everything can seem hunky dory and before you know it, they've made one bad decision and now you're sitting in a room with the officials trying to convince them that they didn't learn that behavior from your training program.
If I learned anything from week 3, it's that I should probably remind you to make good choices too. Whether it was a missed opportunity to bench a player or a surprise breakout left riding the pine, lineup choices came back to haunt quite a few folks.
Let’s start with the Baby Got Dak vs Los Perros Locos matchup. Sure, Dak squeaked out a 112-110 win, but when you look closer, the dogs just laid down. Derrick Henry came through in a big way, putting up 34 points like a workhorse. But what happened beyond that? C.J. Stroud’s average 11 points, and let’s not even talk about Brandin Cooks’ laughable 2 points. What's that over on their bench? Justice Hill and Jaleel McLaughlin - both of whom could’ve been game-changers. The decision to play Samaje Perine over these two? That, my friends, is the kind of choice that gets you called up to the office. And Dak capitalized, but just barely. Jonathan Taylor came alive with 30 points, and Nabers and Diggs put in solid work. This one came down to the wire not only because of some quality performances, but also because the Perros botched their lineup decisions.
Then there’s MaxxCasualties, where poor lineup choices took center stage once again. The scoreline? A brutal 70-103 loss to Blue Ribbon. Now, let me break this down for you: Patrick Mahomes put up a decent 20 points, but his top helpers in the backfield, Ezekiel Elliott and Tony Pollard, put up a combined 2 points. It’s almost like someone out there thought running backs weren’t necessary this week. And sitting right there on their bench were DeAndre Hopkins with 14 points and Johnson with 8, which could've given them a game score as high as 90.
"Uh. Commish? Ribbon scored 103."
Yeah, I know. They still would've lost the game, but they would've survived to see another day...if you catch my drift.
Can we talk about Badazz Bri on the road at Tate's Retirement Retreat? Bri talked his usual smack early on when his Bengals D/ST opened the game with a flashy 32 points, but, like any novice, he thought that meant guaranteed success. I’m going to say it loud for the ones in the back: D/ST doesn’t win championships when you get -4 points in the end.
Golden Tate didn’t have a flashy performance either, but when you’re at home against an opponent who is struggling, sometimes all you need is to avoid making dumb decisions. And they did, but barely - holding on for an 86-78 win. I may not be getting called from the office, but I'm expecting a note home about Hubbard not being included.
The common theme here? Decisions. Poor lineup choices across the board. Take Fat Cats, for instance. Up by 35 heading into Sunday night football, they decided to take a little nap. You’d think they’d have it in the bag, right? Wrong. Deez Nuts rallied on the back of Trevor Lawrence, and the Cats watched their 42-point lead evaporate on Monday night. Bad lineup decisions? Check. They left Sam Darnold (30 points) on the bench while Hurts stuggled and couldn't get the job done. Deez Nuts took full advantage and walked away with the 86-77 win. Fat Cat’s morning might have started with a hairball, but they’re the ones who’ll be licking their wounds for a while after this one.
On the flip side, sometimes decisions aren’t enough to salvage a disaster. Take Who Is You vs. Pork Chop Express for instance. You put up a fight but got absolutely destroyed by their own D/ST, with the Patriots giving them a big, fat zero. Stevenson also put up a zero-point performance while Terry McLaurin's 19 points just sat there wasting away. So yeah, I expect Who Is You probably taking some time after that for a little self-reflection.
In conclusion, Week 3 wasn’t just about the performances on the field—it was about the decisions off it. The teams that didn’t manage their lineups properly paid the price. The theme is simple: decisions matter. In a league where every point counts, it’s not enough to draft a good team or talk a big game. You have to put the right pieces on the board. So here’s a word of advice: make your decisions count, or you’ll be counting losses.
Good luck in Week 4...and - please - try to make good choices so I don't get a call from the officials.
Commish
GOLDEN TICKET CHALLENGE
The stench continues with Reek Squad still leading the pack. However, the Squad now has two new teams chasing their scent: Tallahassee Tator Tots and Pork Chop Express. Though they sound more like the Wednesday lunch special at Big Earl's Greasy Eats than savvy fantasy owners, the Chops and Tots appear to have a clear strategy to win this contest. It's just too bad they copied each other's notes, guaranteeing a split prize if they do.
SURVIVOR CHALLENGE
For some, growth comes in small steps rather than large leaps. In the case of Badazz Bri, they made it all the way to week 3 this year which is an improvement on their usual week 1 exit. At this rate, they should make it all the way to week 7 in a few years. And since this is the final double-elimination week for the season, Bri will be joined by MaxxCasualties who scored just 70 points in week 3.
PIGSKIN PICK'EM CONTEST
After playing a near-perfect ticket in the first week, the Consolation Kings have settled back into their role as Lords of Ordinariness. Though they're a humdrum 16-16 over the past two weeks, that's still enough to maintain a slight lead over this group. In fact, some of you would be better off had you simply picked the opposite of what you chose. Just ask the Fat Cats who would be tied with the Kings had they employed that strategy. And before you ask, yes, they are playing a complete ticket each week.
ELIMINATOR CHALLENGE
I didn't expect the task of picking a single NFL winner each week would be that difficult for you. You all proved otherwise. Nevertheless, let us congratulate our contest winners, Cerebral Ballsy and Blue Ribbon, who proved they're true masters of prognostication by correctly picking a winning NFL team week after week until they could no more and finally succumbed in *checks notes* week 3.
COMMISH'S PICKS
Another split week for my picks last week. But I won't let that slow me down. I'm still going out on a limb this week.
ONE TO WATCH
Who Is You -vs- Gotham Rogues
LINE: Who Is You -25
Let's just get this out of the way; no, I did not fall and hit my head. And yes, I can see You is favored by more than 3 TDs...on the road. But I'm here to tell you the individual player projections for this contest are off. Does that mean I think the Rogues are gonna put up 130 points like they did last week? No. Does that mean I think Who Is You will reach their projected score of 111 points. Also, no. It means that although they won't be flagged for 4 RBs in the backfield, You's running game will struggle to move the ball against Rogues' defense. And if the defense can get off the field, I see some opportunities for lesser known talent to shine this week. Look for both teams to finish at, or just below, the century mark.
COMMISH'S PICK: Who Is You
ONE TO FORGET
Pork Chop Express -vs- Do Not Panic
LINE: Pork Chop Express -24
I have to believe Do Not Panic dreads turning on the news lately. Each time information comes out about McCaffrey, the prognosis gets a little worse. And it's tough to score when you're fielding a $109 starting lineup. This week, the Pork Chop Express will roll into Composure Coliseum with the wind at their back. The Chops were slow to start, but a respectable performance in week 3 suggests the coaching staff has greased the gears. If you're not aboard, you better get out of the way because this contest looks like a train wreck waiting to happen.
COMMISH'S PICK: Pork Chop Express
POWER RANKINGS
Being eliminated from the Survivor Challenge usually comes with other costs, like falling in the Power Rankings. Our previous leader, Badazz Bri now sits at #3 having been passed up by Who Is You and a Blue Ribbon team that leads the league in scoring. But no team gained as much ground as Gotham Rogues who jump 5 spots from #10 to #5 this week.
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