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Writer's pictureCommish

The Apex And The Outliers

I've always thought it funny that our culture uses those two terms incorrectly. People usually think of apex in the sense of "apex predator" or some other context indicating something, or someone, is the best or ne plus ultra.


The same goes for outliers - people usually think of outliers as those scraggy folks wearing an a-frame sign warning of the coming Armageddon if we don't do something about the aliens controlling our planet.


But, statistically speaking, the definition of those terms are different from the way we use them. If you're part of the apex, that just means that you're at the highest point of a bell curve - you are the mean, you're just average. And if you're an outlier, you're as far away from average as possible...and that might be a good thing.

Some of the things these folks come up with are just plain crazy. Who actually listens to these people?

With that in mind, we should take a look at the teams throughout both leagues and see which ones are in the apex and which ones are the outliers - both good and bad.


First, the outliers - the good ones.


In the Sagebrush Cactus league, it doesn't get any better than the Thundabuddies. At 4-0, they're the only undefeated team remaining. And while their scoring has been slightly down over the past two weeks, they're still getting the job done.


Just behind them, at 3-1, we have Jergoff Passout, Chief Sticky Balls, and NH Bounty Hunters - all three are quality teams if you ask me. The Bounty Hunters are getting it done with their QB (Jackson) play while the WRs (Jefferson, Evans) are the ones carrying Passout.

Mike Evans (26 pts) is paying off in dividends for Jergoff Passout and Najee Germany this season.

Though they haven't exactly lived up to all of their pre-season hype - yet - Taylor and McCaffrey are contributing just enough to keep Chief Sticky Balls on the winning side of the ball in most weeks. If they begin to turn it on later in the season, look out.


Regardless, don't be surprised when all three teams are punching their ticket to the playoffs by week 12.


The one team that stands above all in Segundo is The Real Slim Brady. At 3-1 and averaging almost 128.3 pts/gm, Slim Brady looks like the early front runner for the playoffs. This team is loaded with talent to choose from and it seems the only question each week is: which player is going to blow up for 25+ points and beat you?


There is no shortage of apex teams in the SCL Segundo league. No, really.


Of the 12 teams in that league, 10 are no better off than if you were to determine their wins and losses by a simple coin toss. Sitting at 2-2 is every team except for Slim Brady and Shiva Kaminis. We probably should've called this group the SCL League of Parity. If they keep this up, I'm not looking forward to trying to explain the playoff scenarios later in the season.


If you had to choose a few teams from that group that look like possible contenders at this point, I'd probably run with the Tator Tots, Cleveland!, and the Gunkeyes. They're all averaging over 120 pts/gm over their last three, and they seem to have enough talent sitting on their rosters to get them to pay dirt...if they play it right.


One team that is probably in the most trouble in that group is Jalenhouse Rock. Already missing Swift, Rock just lost another RB, Javonte Williams, to a season-ending knee injury. Swift will come back soon, but with Jamaal Williams playing so well, I wouldn't be surprised to see his opportunities reduced a little. And now they'll need to find a suitable replacement for Javonte. Rumor has it Keenan and Kel-ce is looking to make a trade.

Cousins looks more like a sleepy pick than a sleeper pick for Shiva Kaminis and Los Perros Locos this season.

Speaking of Keenan and Kel-ce...welcome back. After opening the season with 145 points, they fell off a bit in weeks 2 and 3 and were heading in the wrong direction. This week, though, they bounced right back with a 140-point outing and came away with a big win.


"But, Commish, what about Shiva Kaminis? Where are they?"


I'm glad you asked.


Sitting at 1-3, Kaminis is at the bottom of the Cholla division and the league as a whole. They've lost 3 straight despite averaging over 110 pts/gm over that span. Their biggest concern is whether or not the rest of the league can get their act together. If the league continues their trend towards mediocrity, then Shiva Kaminis will need to step it up a notch since they won't get any help. But if we begin to see some separation, watch out...Kaminis could sneak up on the rest of the pack.


The cluster of average teams in the Sagebrush Cactus league is much smaller. There are currently three teams that haven't decided yet whether they intend to make it to the postseason or get an early start on their off-season work: Golden Tate Warriors, Who Is You, and Baby Got Dak.


Of those three teams, you'd have to agree the Warriors are in the best position. They're averaging 121.5 pts/gm and they could easily be an outlier if it weren't for some tough matchups on their schedule. And, if nothing else, they're consistent. Their lowest score on the season is 120 points. Their highest - 124. Their standard deviation is only 1.66. That's apex scoring, bro.

If Kyle Pitts (3.3 pts/gm) can cheer up and produce more, the Warriors and Tator Tots could quickly rise to the top.

One quick note about the Golden Tate Warriors and NH Bounty Hunters matchup: they both scored exactly the same total they scored in week 1 of the season, 120 and 103, respectively. How I missed that clue when I made my Commish's Picks is beyond me.


The largest cluster of teams in the Sagebrush Cactus sample fall near the bottom of our bell curve. The Consolation Kings, Do Not Panic, Pork Chop Express, Los Perros Locos, and Badazz Bri all find themselves at 1-3 and trying to figure out how they can get back into the playoff conversation.


The Consolation Kings are probably the best of this group, averaging over 118 pts/gm. They could easily be 3-1 if it weren't for a tough loss this week. In a nail biter, the Kings fell to the Los Perros Locos who finally notched their first win of the season with an impressive 141-140 victory. Huh, imagine that...I just used "impressive" and "Perros" in the same sentence.


In a surprise to many, myself included, this contest was actually one of the more entertaining ones to watch with the Perros' K scoring the go-ahead extra point late in the Sunday night game. The dogs were literally about 3 minutes away from 0-4.


Had the Kings listened to their own words of wisdom, they would've come away with the victory this week:

"This is why you spend $19 on defense." - Consolation Kings, Sept 19, 2022

Losing by one point is frustrating enough, but when you leave the #1 D/ST in the NFL, the Buffalo Bills, on your bench and it costs you the game, you need to put yourself in time-out and take some time to think about what you've done.


If your team is the one bending the curve, keep it up. If you find yourself stuck at the apex, hang in there, make some adjustments and push yourself forward. But if your team is near the bottom of the curve, you're going to need to figure out how to get out of that rut and start climbing. Think outside the box and take some chances. But, please, for the love of God, don't listen to those wackos when they tell you to sit your star players.


GOLDEN TICKET CHALLENGE

I can't believe none of you said a thing. I haven't posted an update about the Golden Ticket Challenge in the past few weeks and nary a peep from you guys about it.


Well, if you must know, your current leader is Thundabuddies who overtook last week's leader Tallaassee [SIC] Tator Tots. The Tots fell one spot to #2 and are now under threat from the Golden Tate Warriors who jumped two spots to #3.


The biggest gainer this week was The Real Slim Brady who jumped 8 spots to #7 due largely to the 49ers D/ST who scored 32 points for them.


With only four weeks of play under our belt, it's tough to count out anyone who is within 100 points of the lead. One or two injuries to players can change the entire outlook of this contest.


Oh, and don't forget...for the first time ever, I'm allowing you guys to fix some of your mistakes. One mistake to be exact.


After next week concludes, but before week 6 begins, you'll be allowed to change one player on your team. Keep in mind, however, your roster must still meet all eligibility requirements: at least one rookie, no two players from the same team, etc. I will send an email to everyone with more information soon.


SURVIVOR CHALLENGE

Hard as he tried on Monday Night, Matt Gay just couldn't kick enough FGs to lift up Baby Got Dak enough to avoid elimination this week. Their pitiful 75 points was more than doubled by their opponent. It was bad, folks.


For the first time this season, immunity came into play. The lowest score of the week in the Segundo league belonged to TJONES35 with only 65 points. But, since they were immune from elimination, the shame of being voted off the island in week 4 belongs to Jalenhouse Rock with 95 points.


For week 5, Jergoff Passout (162 pts) and Ohio State Gunkeyes (146 pts) both earned immunity with their outstanding performances.


PIGSKIN PICK'EM CHALLENGE

We're on to Cleveland! and Thundabuddies are still sitting at the top of the leader board. But with a league-best 13 correct picks this week, the Golden Tate Warriors closed a lot of ground. The top eight teams are all within 4 games of each other and there are an additional seven teams within 10 games of the lead. Each week is proving crucial in this contest.


ELIMINATOR CHALLENGE

Selecting the New York Football Giants in week 4, the NH Bounty Hunters are still going strong. I assume since all of you clowns are out of this contest, we're all cheering for the Hunters to represent the league and win this thing, right? Right?!?


WEEKLY SCORE WINNERS

Highest Score: Jergoff Passout and BattleBornKid

Highest Score - Loss: Consolation Kings and Shiva Kaminis

Lowest Score - Win: Chief Sticky Balls and Najee Germany


COMMISH'S PICKS

Sadly, I was just average this week with another 3-3 record in both leagues. The one bright spot was that I picked both Matchups of the Week correctly.


Good luck in week 5!

-- Commish


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