LINE: Chief Sticky Balls -28
To begin, you take the highest scoring team, Chief Sticky Balls (118.1 pts/gm), and match them up with the team that allows the most points per game, Badazz Bri (137.6 PA/gm). Secondly, you make note of Bri's 0-2 all-time record at Sticky Balls with a 34.5 point average margin of defeat. Next, you point out that Chief Sticky Balls has won 4 of their last 5 and would, for all practical purposes, guarantee themselves a playoff spot with a victory this week. If you really want to kick it up a notch, you'll remove most of Badazz Bri's players because of the bye week and give the remaining players tough matchups. Finally, you should garnish it with the fact that Chief Sticky Balls has outscored Bri in 9 of 11 weeks this season. With that, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the recipe for the blowout of the week. Bon appétit!
COMMISH'S PICK: Chief Sticky Balls
LINE: Pork Chop Express -30
A victory for Pork Chop Express would lock them in for an invite to the playoffs, while a loss for the Bounty Hunters would relegate them to the consolation bracket. If the Bounty Hunters have any ideas of keeping their postseason hopes alive, they'll certainly need to step up their game this week. Over the past 5 weeks, they've averaged a league-low of 81 pts/gm and they're facing an opponent who has had a lot of past success against them. In 9 games against the Hunters, the Pork Chops are 7-2 and they're not afraid to travel. Of the 6 games the Bounty Hunters have hosted, the Chops have won 5 with an average final score of 101 to 81.7. To make matters worse, Pork Chop Express has been at their best when on the road this season where they've won 4 of 5 games with an average of 116.2 pts/gm. For the Bounty Hunters to have any chance in this matchup, they're going to need to exceed all expectations and hope they catch the Chops off guard. With a ticket to the playoffs on the line for the Chops, I don't see that happening.
COMMISH'S PICK: Pork Chop Express
LINE: Flash Dem TD's -8
Four straight losses to Cactus teams has left Hit Em With The Hein!!! on the ropes and at risk of losing their anticipated #1 seed in the playoffs. The good news is that inter-league play is done and they can now get back to playing their divisional foes where they're 5-0 this season. Earlier in the season, these two squared off with Hein!!! narrowly pulling out a 3-point victory, 83 to 80. In this rematch, though, they'll need to boost their offensive production if they're going to beat a TD's team that is hungry for revenge and averaging 111.6 pts/gm on the road - nearly 14 pts better than Hein!!!'s average home score of 98.3 pts/gm. With their playoff dreams hanging in the balance and a host of favorable player matchups, I expect Flash Dem TD's should have no problem topping 110 points - something Hein!!! hasn't accomplished in the last 5 games. Regardless, I think Hein!!! keeps this game even closer than the line might suggest. In the end, though, I think TD's comes out on top and throws the Sagebrush playoff picture into complete disarray before heading into the final week.
COMMISH'S PICK: Flash Dem TD's
LINE: Blue Ribbon -12
This game is a must-win for both teams if they intend to keep their playoff hopes alive. They're each sitting 1 game out of a playoff spot in the Sagebrush division, so a loss means a ticket to the consolation bracket. The last time these two squared off, in week 2, Blue Ribbon came out the victor in a very close game, 93-91. Though I'm sure RamRod would love nothing more than to avenge that loss and eliminate Ribbon from the playoffs at the same time, there several things working against them. For starters, RamRod has been terrible in divisional play this year. In 5 games, they're 1-4 against Sagebrush teams, and when they don't score 233 points, they only average 90.3 pts/gm. Still worse is that fact that this is a home game for RamRod, where they're 1-4. If you're keeping a tally, that all adds up to a couple of wins and a lot of losses. As you look over their rosters and player matchups, you'll probably notice that things appear much more favorable for Ribbon than they are for RamRod. I suggest you tie one on this weekend and take Blue Ribbon.
COMMISH'S PICK: Blue Ribbon
LINE: Los Perros Locos -6
If there's a toss-up game this week, this is it. Both of these teams have won 4 of their last 5, but Perros has clearly looked like the better team. The dogs are averaging 144.8 pts/gm to go with their 4-game winning streak while You has averaged 90.4 pts/gm over that span. And in their quest for a fifth straight win, I'm not sure they could've hand-picked a better opponent. Throughout the history of the league, Perros and You have thrown blows 15 times with Perros taking 12 of those contests. But before you begin to think Los Perros Locos has the upper-hand, consider that recent history may not be on their side. Los Perros has struggled against Cactus teams this season with meager 1-4 record in divisional play. Who Is You, on the other hand, has performed well in divisional games with a 4-1 record and a respectable 106.8 pts/gm average. And, although Los Perros has been putting up some big numbers over the past several weeks, they might hit a roadblock against a Who Is You team that has surrendered more than 100 points at home only once this season. It's a classic case of an immovable object versus an unstoppable force.
COMMISH'S PICK: Los Perros Locos
LINE: Thundabuddies -28
This matchup stands out in that it is the only matchup with absolutely no impact on the playoff races. Both teams have already been eliminated. It's the only game where no one, except the team owners, has a dog in the fight. We don't care who wins. We can all just sit back, relax, and watch what I expect will be a close game. Thundabuddies and Baby Got Dak have each won 5 of the 10 games they've played against each other. Interestingly, this game marks the first time that Dak will travel to Flash Gordon Field, but I would caution you if you think that provides some sort of advantage to Thundabuddies. In 6 home games this season, the Thundabuddies have looked more like the Thudbuddies with a 1-5 record and average score of 95 pts/gm. But, fortunately, they probably won't need to score much more than that. Baby Got Dak has been awful against their divisional foes this season. They've lost 4 of 5 to the Cactus division teams and, to make matters worse, they're averaging a lowly 88 pts/gm over the past 3 weeks. Look, I didn't suggest this would be Scorefest 2019, just that it would be a close game.
COMMISH'S PICK: Thundabuddies
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