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Writer's pictureCommish

Week 5 Commish's Picks


This contest marks the Pork Chops first visit to the Booby Bowl and I'm sure they're hopeful this trip will bring better luck than they've had in the past against Flash Dem TD's. Historically, Pork Chop Express is a dismal 0-4 against TD's and they average only 98 points/game while allowing the TD's an average of more than 133 points/game. To make matters worse, the Chops have had to move on without Saquon Barkley for the season and they'll be without their other star RB, Nick Chubb. On the bright side, this Chops team is deep in talent and they've had no problems in the scoring department. Over the past 3 weeks, they're outscoring Flash Dem TD's by an average of 35 points/week with 121 points being their lowest score so far this season - a score that TD's have topped only once. Facing a red-hot Chops team that is undefeated, and doing so with a banged up roster, I can't see TD's doing much more than trying to keep it close.

LINE: Pork Chop Express -14

COMMISH'S PICK: Pork Chop Express


At first glance, you might think that there isn't much to see here. And you'd be right. The last time these two met, they scored a combined total of 78 points. 78 points. Combined. For their part, Who Is You is 1-5 in their last 6 regular season games. Badazz Bri? They haven't won a regular season game since week 9 of last season. Between them, they have combined for one win. With a contest this riveting on the docket, it's tough to decide what to watch. OWN is running their Super Soul Sunday this weekend and I'm looking forward to catching Oprah & Marianne Williamson: 20 Years After "A Return To Love".

LINE: Who Is You -25

COMMISH'S PICK: Badazz Bri


Aside from losing their namesake for a few weeks, Christian McMingle is having a relatively good start to their season. They're 3-1 and their lowest score through the first 4 weeks is 109 points. For comparison, Dak's highest score of the season is 116 and it's also the only time they've topped the 100-point threshold. But before you go thinking that Christian McMingle will walk all over Baby Got Dak, consider that Dak has won 5 of 6 all-time against McMingle, and they've never lost on their home field. And, not only will McMingle be without the Christian, they'll be running with Teddy Bridgewater at the helm instead of Aaron Rodgers. That doesn't bode well for a team that has lost every game they've played on Dak's field by an average of 45.5 points. My money says this game finishes a lot closer than you'd expect.

LINE: Christian McMingle -3

COMMISH'S PICK: Christian McMingle


The last time these two faced off, Chief Sticky Balls came away the victor in a close game, 107-103, giving them a third-straight win against Bounty Hunters. However, those games were all played back east, and the Bounty Hunters should be looking forward to a trip down to the Nethers where they're 2-0 all-time. In those games, the Hunters have averaged 149 points and I wouldn't be surprised to see them come close to that again this week. Both teams have some very favorable player matchups which suggests this will be a high-scoring affair. Plus, the Bounty Hunters are likely to have Michael Thomas back in their lineup. If the Balls play it too loose in this contest, they could get smashed.

LINE: NH Bounty Hunters -2

COMMISH'S PICK: NH Bounty Hunters


The 2 teams that started this God-forsaken league face off again. Throughout the years, the Perros have been the better team, winning 9 of 13 and 6 of 9 on the road. More recently, Golden Tate Warriors have lost 4 of their last 5 regular season games against Los Perros. Here's another bone to chew on: Los Perros Locos were 5-1 versus Sagebrush teams last season and Golden Tate was 2-4 against the Cactus division. Clearly, Los Perros will win, right? Nope. The dogs have been neutered. They'll be without Austin Ekeler and Cam Newton with Julio Jones, Diontae Johnson, and A.J. Brown are all listed as "questionable". And, as for the players who aren't hobbled, they have terrible matchups.

LINE: Golden Tate Warriors -29

COMMISH'S PICK: Golden Tate Warriors


TB is 0-5 all-time vs BR, 0-2 at BR. Avg score at BR is 125.5 - 89.


No Davante Adams. No Kenny Golladay. No Aaron Jones. So, why is in the hell is this game the Matchup of the Week? Simply put, these two teams have proven that they can score this season. It was just 2 weeks ago that Thunda Buddies posted a ridiculous 210 points and Blue Ribbon has yet to score below 121 points in any contest. Who will win this shootout? Well, if you listen to Blue Ribbon, it matters not that they've never lost to Thunda Buddies. Or, that they typically win by at least 36.5 points when playing them at home. In my opinion, this game boils down to QB and D/ST play, and I think the edge goes to...

LINE: Thunda Buddies -1

COMMISH'S PICK: Thunda Buddies

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